A book for a Victorian Christmas £7.99

  

 

 

 

HOW THE VICAR

CAME AND WENT

Victorian Clerical Errors: A Collection

By Tom Hughes

 

Available NOW and exclusively through Amazon.co.uk 

 

 

The vast majority of Victorian vicars, rectors and curates - not to mention the loftier prebendaries, deans and canons - led blameless lives of devoted service to their congregations whether in crowded cities or the most remote corners of the island. They were kind and true to their wives. In their quiet hours, they busied themselves with their bees, books and bells. At their passing, they were much lamented; a few were even worthy of a memorial window.

This little volume, however, recounts the stories of 30 clergymen, accused - and sometimes falsely accused - of crimes and failings, large and small. The headline, "A Clergyman in the Dock," never failed to sell newspapers. “It is wonderful the interest that is taken in the peccadilloes and sins of the cloth and were it the custom to charge admission into our law courts, on such occasions, I am satisfied that the prices might be doubled when a clergyman is the defendant.”

Table of Contents:

• HOW THE VICAR CAME AND WENT
• THE GREAT GLOUCESTERSHIRE HEN CASE
• CHARLES DARWIN AND THE CURATE
• “I MET A VICAR SPRUCE AND GAY”
• A TUTOR OF YOUR BASTARDS
• A HAMPTON COURT SCANDAL
• A CLERGYMAN WANTING IN “ORDINARY HUMANITY”
• THE VICAR AND HIS HOUSEMAID
• AN EXTREMELY HEART-RENDING CASE OF SEDUCTION
• OUR MARRIAGE HAS BEEN A MISTAKE
• VILE MACHINATIONS
• OPIUM WASHED DOWN WITH WINE
• A BIT DESPOTIC
• A CRUEL AND HEARTLESS VILLAIN
• SO SQUALID A SCANDAL
• AN OUTRAGE TO SOCIETY
• A CLERGYMAN’S WAYWARD FOOT
• THE PRODIGAL FATHER
• A BESIEGED CLERGYMAN
• THE BLACKEST CRIMINAL I HAVE EVER SEEN
• IN A VICARAGE FOR “IMMORAL PURPOSES”
• NO PEACE IN FYFIELD
• A CURATE IN THE FOOTLIGHTS
• THE PARSON’S LADY FRIEND
• THE TORMARTON MENAGERIE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Hughes is (to his knowledge) not related to the Rev. Thomas Hughes, the bigamous Victorian clergyman denounced from the bench as the “blackest criminal” of the day. The story of the Rev. Mr. Hughes and the other clerics in this book have been culled from an unrivalled database of clerical scandals and sensations.

Contact: victorianga@aol.com

The collection includes stories from Birmingham, £££Brentford, Bristol, Cheltenham, Derby, Downe, Ealing, Eastleach Martin, Fyfield, Germansweek, Hampton-in-Arden, Hereford, Leeds, Manchester, Semer, Slough, Syde, West Haddon, Wilmington, and, of course, London.

Previously published:

Blame it on the Devon Vicar (Halsgrove 2008); Blame it on the Norfolk Vicar (Halsgrove 2008)

Clerical Errors, A Victorian Series - Vol. 1 (Amazon, 2016); Vol. 2 (Amazon, 2017)

I Met a Vicar Spruce and Gay

Birmingham's New St Station (wikipedia)

In 1855, the "infamous Alice Grey" fascinated the English public. A charming con-woman, she could be found weeping in railroad stations or hotel lobbies. "Her trunks and purses were constantly being stolen, leaving her stranded without a penny." She cadged money, train tickets, meals, and perhaps more. "Her pretty face, her white skin, delicate colour, and soft voice, were great assistants to her pitiable tales." Numerous men admitted to being gulled by her in a trail that crossed Scotland and England. The most embarrassing case was surely that of the Rev. Joseph Ashby Morris, vicar of Hampton-in-Arden, near Birmingham.

In October, Alice was arrested in Wolverhampton. Her story was that a man she met in Birmingham gave her £4 and told her to take a room in Wolverhampton where he'd visit her. In Birmingham, police recalled a woman matching her description walking from the station with a gentleman. The story got more interesting when the generous gentleman was found to be a clergyman, the Rev. Mr. Morris. 

Before the magistrates and a large crowd, Alice told her story. She met the vicar at Birmingham station with her usual story: her cases and purse were missing and she needed to get to Liverpool. Since there was time, he offered her a meal. Alice said he took her to a coffee-house, ordered brandy and became quite amorous, to the point they were asked to leave. They moved on to a spirit shop where they each had three glasses of wine. The Liverpool train was due so he gave her the £4 and arranged to meet in Wolverhampton. 

The Rev. Morris was 55, married and had been at St. Mary & St Bart's in Hampton since 1841. He was in court, with his wife, and heard Alice's evidence. He took the stand to "indignantly" deny all. He did meet her in Birmingham, weeping with a tale of stolen bags. "Out of compassion," the vicar swore, he took her to a temperance coffee house for tea and ham, no more. When she appeared ready to faint, he called for brandy. He had no spirits that evening. The landlady did ask them to leave because the room was needed for a meeting. Alice was allowed to question the witness. Didn't he talk of 9000 kisses? He never said that. Alice claimed the landlady was disgusted by their behaviour and said her house was no place for a "whore and her whoremaster." Nonsense, Morris replied. He swore he never gave her anything but a shilling. As Morris stepped down, she shouted, "You're a bright ornament to the gown!"

On that day in question, railway police had seen Alice talking with Morris at 4:40. The vicar's wife testified he was home by 6:10, taking the 5:35 train. Hardly the time needed for Alice's long and boozy seduction story. She was remanded and made several more appearances in court. Rev. Morris stayed away, on doctor's orders to avoid "excitement." Eventually, Alice was found guilty on multiple charges and sentenced to five years at London's Milbank  jail.  

Rev. Morris sued the Staffordshire Sentinel for publishing some jailhouse doggerel supposedly written by Alice Grey. Excerpts:

One evening by the railway station, I met a vicar spruce and gay,
Who got with me in conversation, And then invited me to tea...
Four pounds he gave me then with pleasure to buy a suit of muslin fine,
And bade me come and sit at leisure, where we could have a glass of wine
A minute found us in the palace, where there was a pleasant fire.
Sealing all we said with kisses, drinking all we could desire. 

The suit was dropped when the publisher expressed great sorrow for inadvertently printing the verse. Rev. Morris remained vicar in Hampton-in-Arden (below) until his death in 1866. As for Alice, some claim she died young, others say she was eventually assisted to emigrate by the Prisoners’ Aid Society.